Our brave adventurers once again assaulted the dread Citadel, the chilling pinnacle of the Lich Kings dominion. One target in mind; Professor Putricide. His ghoulish abominations banished to the depths from which they were borne the path was clear mere minions stood before us and the manic manipulator! With songs in heart and passion in chest we marched upon his dwelling! Admiral Akbar was the first to react.

"IT'S A TRAAAAAAAP!!!"

Unfortunatly the insect swarm scoured his body clean as the rest of the group reacted, and then routinely AoE'd the entire swarm down wondering what sort of inept moron designed a trap that actually does fuck all.

Carrying on we strode into his room proper. Strange liquids gurgled and odd gasses swirled. The father of the vanquished abominations worked fervenatly behind a large desk covered in a multitude of flasks, beakers and containers.

"CHAAAAAAAARGE!" yelled Zepiroth as he shot the boss before valiantly falling over. The judges awarded 9, 8 and 9.5 scores for the ninja pull and subsequent feign.

The battle raged for weeks. He threw green shit at the ranged like some sort of radioactive monkey. He farted into bottles and dropped them on melee. He summoned the Blob! That terror of yester year, then he summoned another and another and another. They ate everything in their path and not a fire extinguisher in sight! If only we had magic and big axes and shit, that'd sort them out!

... oh yeah

So we killed the blobs.

uhh yeah..In desperation Sekoran made a blind dash(fat arse) for the table! He pulled an acrobatic headstand inserted a funnel... into his mouth(filthy pervs) and began to chug potions like they're cherry cola! Amazingly it made his normally hideous form slightly less so and he proceeding to eat the shit off the floor.. His mother really should've taught him better . Suddenly GAS! No not Junia, the conieving boss flung tear gas at us. It's truly a sad sight seeing 25 grown nerds crying

Running to the table he drank the rest of the mess, turning into the very abominations he once created! Aparently being an abomination increases your shit flinging capabilities! The room was literally covered in weird green abomination shit. It was dripping from the walls, it was dripping from the ceiling; it was dripping from Sekorans mouth. Caked in abomination excrement we flung all we had at him (though not the crap.. thats just wrong sickos). When all seemed lost he fell!


GOOD NEWS EVERYONE NEW EPICS! Prof down


With the plague wing clear we had a choice. Emo faggy vampires or RP Frost wing.. well we already had our thermals on and after Twilight I dont think I ever want to see another sparkling vampire so frost wing it was!

See RP event bla bla I throw sticks noo i die bla bla ZERG MOAR HEHEH

+1 frost emblem

And now we're at the new Boss! Valsomethingorother Dreamwalker! Sounds like a night elf version of Freddy Krueger to me. I bring your nightmares alive! NIGHTMARES OF SODOMY!!! Suffice it to say Junia liked this bit.

Personally I was hoping for another Vaelastraz encounter. HEY LOOK BOSS LOW HEALTH WE PEW PEW YES?! Unfortunatly it was boring. Cleave trash. Cleave trash. Cleave trash.  I asked how the boss was going along but it seemed to be gaining health. Really you'd think they'd stop healing it. I mean whats the point. Everyone knows big npc + dps = shiny purples. Damned noobs .

There really were alot of mobs.. you know none of them gave loot either. Souls yes ..mmm souls tasty tasty souls.. You know gnome souls are tangy? Quite like those sour sweets you can get. You know the ones where you bite and you scrunch your face up cos of the extreme tang. Its like that.. I like gnome souls very tasty. Lich souls are like lemonade ice lollies they're ok but pretty plain. I wish there were more gnomes in ICC..


where was I..

Dreamwalker right, druidy dragon. Yeah.. so aparently he's a total hippy and the healers kept going on about flying through the fucking air and eating this green stuff. aparently they thought it made them heal better. Personally I think they had too many special mushrooms or some shit. I mean really... sigh.

So anyway after this trippy hippy fest the big faggot of a boss gets up and leaves. Just teleports out. I knew we should've been attacking him not these crappy mobs .

On the plus side he left his box behind (not that box). There were a few shiny druid toys in there. Nothing plate or smashy so I didnt much care. Crap loot

Dreamwalker


(bigbadfailure trying to prove he can fly really. Doing about as well as when he attempts to prove he can dps)

Once more we go forth! Once more we venture into the breach! Once more we slaver over shiny shiny new epics... oooo purples..

Once more I forget where we were last time...

*mumbles* uhh huh Deathwhisper uh huh, jizz stains.. mmh rocketass bear heh.. mmm Saurfang  .. Officer chat lulz... animal abuse...0.o... hmmm


Right then! ONCE MORE WE.. no did that part.. uhhh right yes!

A fair while has passed since my last sanctioned babble in the news section. So before they stop me I'll ramble on!

With not one but TWO new wings released since the last update we should have plenty to discuss. Unfortunatly as we came out the other side of the Christmas/Jul break from raiding we discovered that the new Yo-Yo some people got proved to be too much of a distraction and we lost a number of active raid members. This in turn has lead to a number of new recruits entering the guild. I hope all of whom are settling down nicely and have learned Kvit's bite is usualy worse than his bark.

So much written and so little said. I'm off to a good start!

The first of the new wings was the Plague wing. In typical Nax style it boasts gimps, abominations and aberrations created by the wicked hands of the undead apothocaries. Oddly the first encounters in this wing are not bosses. Upon facerolling our way through the trash and mocking mobias for his vitality deficiency we came upon two gluth look a likes. Precious and Stinky. Personally I prefer stinky but it seems Precious won the veritable Crufts of undead patchwork doggy shows. I cannot fathom why! Regardless pulling them carefully I hoped they'd reward my example of skill with some shinies. I was sorely dissapointed as all they did was wear a few durability points off my armour . Although we did see why stinky was so named.. stank worse than Junia!

Then the worst dilema of the night! Right or Left?.. Riiight or leeeffft... RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT OOOOOOR LEEEEEEFFFT...  hmmmmmm...

I forget which way we went. I'm sure however it was an astute choice based on principle, tactics and an overall stratagem.

The first boss was Festergut.. or Rotface.. lets pretend it was Rotface and I know what I'm on about.

We strode bravely through the plagued halls of the enemy! The chill from the throne stabbed through the air piercing our souls and slowing our movements. It seemed that even inside hidden from the cold air of Northrend there was no respite. For all our endevour we were rewarded by a pustual bespeckled monster sporting a weasel growing our of his shoulders extra eyes and an elongated stomach! A sickening site for even the most avid dragonslayer. However no fear was felt! .. except for those of us that bothered to make half an effort so we could be condescending to those that had not in our preparation.

the fight engaged, the monster swung our tanks died.. we wiped.. fuck.

we tried again and again and eventually people managed to stop taking a huge failturd on the raid and spawned the green crap blobs outside the raid grouping and the boss went down!

shiny purples were looted!

we didnt take a picture..so instead have this



actually no we did take a picture (the week after shhh!!) dont worry!



We then proceeded to go kill his little friend.. who was in fact the exact same heigh and size.. so not really his little friend at all... oh well.

The Festergut fight went alot smoother in terms of progression, or maybe Im just fooling myself who knows! Anyway we go in I whine, Kvit whines. We both whine to each other in /o. We whine some more and shake fists in anger. Peons do good, peons get purple!



We did attempt an attack upon the father of these abominations. However our plans came to naught and we faltered. A little time passed and we put paid to the abominations without much improvement in 25m on their daddykins. Something we intend to right very soon!

However a new wing just openenenenened! I heard it was full of Vampires!

BUFFY? THE LOST BOYS? DUSK BEFORE DAWN? OMG AWESOME BROODY SEXY SUPER omg edward! omg he sparkles omg omg ... who the fu...omg he's perfect, but im a whiney little bitch with no personality and indistinct looks. Why would he love me Im just a blank canvas a mobile manaquin! OH BUT HE DOES .. oo I think I came a little tee hee

... ok fuck that

BURN THE SHIT DOWN! wasting perfectly good vampire references. Shit I didnt even get to Blade! Remember the opening to Blade? FUCKING RAVE BOOM BOOM BOOM TSSS UHN UHN TSS TSS WOOO PARTY! Hot chicks dancing on each other? awwwwesome then suddenly...blood! Blade walks in and clears the room kicking Vampire arse with a shotgun and a fucking Katana! DID HE FUCKING SPARKLE? DID HE ? NO HE DID NOT. Unless you coun the shiny sparkles of fucking blood!

gah..

right where was I...
uhhh vampires.. right

Ok yes!


The trash here really does suck, in combat saps, shadow step. HUGE CRITS.. not cool (also mobs with a working charge again... blizz hate me). We cleared the small packs and entered the room.

"AHA! They're all dead already! easy loot! Clearly they heard Mythic were coming headed by the charismatic Candiru and androgenus Aishi!"

unfortunatly I had a slight sneaking suspicion this wouldnt prove to be all.. and it was right good bye my shinies...

The three bosses rose as one and emoted some gay faggotry about setbacks bla bla.. elves.. It didnt take long for us to figure out a positioning and tactic based around the guilds special.... talents and the kill looked like a distinct possibility.  So much so the game decided to give us not just the three bosses we were fighting but the entire damned wing all at once just to test us out! We hadnt planned on this... how could we be so remiss in our planning! Why did we not say to ourselves
"What if the Queen adds to hte fight for some reason? It could happen right?..."
Well I dont know I really dont clearly its obvious the entire wing could be pulled back to uh.. big red guy.. uhhhh Vaels room yes yes thats the joke the kiddies used to use right? Pull it back to Vaels room and aoe LOLOOL.. Humour.. I just dont get it

After that time we decided the warlocks were all emo vampire loving faggots that probably touched themselves while reading Twilight and wishing they were that walking talking manaquin and could get a good cold cocking from the vampiric addonis that is Edward. So we made Aishi do it.

His gypsy curses and love of raw garlic soon saw off the overgrown mosquito

cant say I blame the blood sucker

However disgusting as he is it did spell the end of our trials that night and soon the pansy princes fell. Much to the disgust of Galvanized (who cant spell his own name right) no mace dropped for me to ninja and mock him for. sigh..




That may have been the end of our 25m adventure however quickly I will congratulate the 10m group who cleared te entire instance in 1 day! While wishing the other group the best of luck. We're all sure you'll manage next week time allowing



oh and here is a picture of a chimp with some cake



Cakes are awesome even chimps know it!

Days passed, jizz stains dried to a shiny muscus and the lag abated. We could finally raid ICC with little fear of technical difficulties!

With one boss already defeated we moved onto Lady Deathwhisper. It was clear from the beginning she needed to die. Like most women she doesn't just shut the fuck up (which makes me wonder about certain swetarded members...). We strode out and entered glorious battle!.. first  phase was pretty dull ADD.. ADD.. ADD... yaawwwn

moving on. Her shield fell and we popped cd's like she was a priest in the arena! Strangulate wasn't up so we kicked the DK but we lolstormed to justice and loot!




After realising the big thing that was screwing up my camera view was in fact a lift up to the next level people jumped on it.. then came back down again for the above picture -.-. (seriously need a leash for this people... sheesh)

Once we were ready we set off again only to discover the dastardly Alliance dogs had ambushed a squad of valliant horde troopers! Dashing to their aid we sighted a priest... everything went red ... I don't remember much after that but when I could see again all my cd's were gone and the priest was dead... I didn't get points

Then we found rocket packs! this was super awesome happy fun in a ball pit! unfortunately the bear pack was oddly positioned.


... druids..

Much fun was had flying around until a couple of ne'er do wells managed to miss the GREAT BIG FLYING BOAT and fall to their deaths. So we started again and again the alliance attacked us! How rude?!.. tsk anyway as you would expect we killed them looted their bodies and moved along.

There we met Saurfang the younger... I cried listening to the father talk of his lost son.. it was really moving the 6th time I heard it.. really gets you right there... 
such an epic dialogue..

attempted suicides apart we fought the 31m hp monster.. Im dreading this on HC mode. It took a fair while to get right but we got him down in the end. Oddly it was a tactical decision by Sekoran that swung the balance. I know weird right? But it worked and we killed him.

Enter sob story part 2

at least we didn't have to listen to this one every time we pulled..





during the course of the night we took a short break because people needed to do obscene things with their pets. Apparently the officers aren\t immune to this immoral behaviour. Sekoran apparently received some 'inspiration' from his brother during the time out.

There it was: Patch 3.3 - Icecrown Citadel.

Everyone was super excited about the new instance. Finally it was 19:00 and the raid was formed.

It started out really good and it was fun doing trash again....but then it hit us...the LAG-HAMMER!!! Awwwww...ffs...why tonight .

Anyways, we still killed the first boss...tried the second boss...but due to lag and the world server being downs it was kinda pointless.

Be back next week...oh and i was told to stop making screenshot due to me taking it out of space or something lolol!

Finally Mythic has downed Twin Valkyrs 25 man Heroic!

It only took us 3 wipes and everything went perfect. Nobody died, everyone did decent DPS and the shields where down ontime for the interrupt !

Good job everyone and congratz!